Recently, I was rocking Mayita off to Sleepytime (again) when I thought, “damn, my daughter will be a year old next month.”
It has flown by. I hear that from other mom’s mouths, but never thought that it would come out of mine. And yet, there it was. Hellooooooo cliche’.
I fret that I haven’t done things with her that I did with Mayor Bee. I feel she’s getting shorted because I’m focused on B’s challenges.
For example, at this time…
1. Mayor Bee was a part of multiple playgroups. One group I’ve been part of since he was in my womb. Every month I was at a playdate of some sort. We always did “something”. I’m lucky if I get Mayita out to play with a neighbor’s little girl.
2. Mayor Bee had already been through a round or two of swimming lessons. I have gotten Mayita into the pool at the beach house this past summer and that’s it. No time for swim lessons. Or rather, no time after Karate/Swimming/Storytime/whatever thing I find that would be beneficial to Mayor Bee. I used swimming as an example – but it could be just about anything.
3. Mayor Bee has been to a Corn Maize, a “Baby Loves Disco” event, even a winery for crying out loud. Now that we have two, it’s just that much harder to get everything together. Our joke is that we’ve gone from a zone defense to man-to-man. Even one of the times we did a family event, while not a disaster, was disappointing (Even The Best Laid Plans).
4. Mayor Bee had oodles of professional shots taken during his first year. I’m happy that a friend took some pictures for Christmas because that and daycare pictures are the only “professional” shots I have.
On top of it all, I’ve been all about keeping disruptions for Mayor Bee at a minimum. Ok, except for the aftercare suspension but I swear that wasn’t my fault! As you can guess, routine and structure pretty much rule our household. Most households, especially with a child on the spectrum, adhere to some “policy and procedure” in homelife. And little Mayita kinda gets sandwiched in.
I don’t know how else to say it. And I feel wretched about it. A great example is our morning routine. Mornings are extremely hectic trying to just get Mayor Bee dressed, some food in (not on) his stomach and onto the bus. Nevermind that poor Mayita might want to have a bottle when she wakes up…at the same time.
I know deep down that I try and give her just as much attention, snuggles and songs as I did with Mayor Bee. I know she loves me, as evidenced by her big grin and cute giggle when she sees me enter the room. But I am going to have to work on scheduling more “Mommy and Mayita” time in the future.