In some aspects I look forward to the New Year. It’s a fresh start, a clean slate. I can look forward again to my birthday and the beach, among other things.
But then there’s all these resolutions. The majority of the time, they don’t work. You know that and I know that.
One exception: I quit smoking 8 years ago. Even then, I planned for it a month in advance by tracking when I smoked or what were my triggers. But before that, I tried to quit multiple times and failed miserably.
Each year I resolve to:
1. Lose weight
2. Pay down debt
3. Save money (an oxymoron given #2, but whatever)
Each year I don’t quite succeed the way I want to. Maybe I set too lofty of a goal. Maybe I am not specific about the goals (how much weight? how much paid off?).
This past year our family has gone through a lot. I had major surgery, we switched the kids around to different schools (yet AGAIN), and faced other trials and tribulations. Looking back on my posts, it is surprising that we muddled through it. Not only that, it seemed like we had some fun along the way.
But towards the end of last year, it all got a bit crazy. I’ve always been a bit, er, neurotic. Shocker. Anxious. Type-A. Whatever. Normally, I’ve been able to handle unexpected hurdles and detours through practice. But now I’m tired. Sluggish. Multiple things are flying towards me – and I can’t juggle them all. Things are dropping like hot potatoes.
I’m facing more pressure from myself, which in turn is making me more neurotic around the family. It’s not helping me, it’s not helping the kids, and certainly not helping Husband who has to deal with my, er, quirks.
This year, I pledge to take better care of myself, in order to take better care of everyone else. Whether that means taking timeouts for myself to exercising or eating better – I’m sure it will be all the above.
That meant that yesterday morning, bright and early, I made the trek to my doctor’s office for blood work. This of course required fasting after midnight and no coffee to start my day. For those that run of caffeine, you understand just how big a sacrifice that can be.
I also have a “tiny” problem with getting my blood drawn. Meaning, I have to try very very very hard not to pass out. It’s hard enough to find my veins as it is (they are small and tend to “roll” according to techs. Shudder.). And if one can get it on the first attempt, then my blood pressure drops, I sweat and begin to hyperventilate. Believe me, it’s not a pretty sight.
But I did it (woot). Getting that blood work done and analyzed can prove (hopefully) that I’m in good health. I’ll have my annual appointment next week and talk to her about what’s been going on. Then, I can look at what I can do to make it better.
It’s already been a long journey but hopefully turning a different way will help me gain a fresh perspective on life.
I hope more sleep is also part of this but that will be up to the kids, I’m sure.