Author’s Note: I am linking up with themommymess today and recycling one of my “old” posts for you to read. In honor of Autism Awareness (and Acceptance) Month, this particular post was last year’s thoughts. For better or for worse, they haven’t changed.
As you know, April is Autism Awareness Month. Today is World Autism Awareness Day. Of course, WE don’t need to “be aware” of it. We live it every day.
So what am I aware of? I am aware that:
– my son is now 1 in 88 and 1 in 54.
– there are days that I absolutely adore my son.
– there are also days that I just want to lock myself in my room and escape.
– that my knowledge base keeps growing.
– there are times where I get a little too sure of myself and I miss a knowing “sign” of an impending B freakout.
– that, no matter how much I plan, organize, and anticipate anything that may happen, it still won’t do me a lick of good when he is kicking me with his feet and wailing his fists.
– that no matter what I do, people will still judge me when I cannot control his actions. People will judge me for using a sharp tone because I know he’s going to bolt out the door. That I bark out orders and hover in case he freaks out. That I’m “that parent”.
– that some people will continuously say, “Oh, he’s just a boy” and “He’ll grow out of it”. I’m also aware that I should give myself a gold star for not throat punching them, that I just give a weary smile and move on.
– that I miss having conversations without saying, “Oh hold on a minute….B GET AWAY FROM THE DOOR/STOVE/FIRE BREATHING DRAGON”. Or just drop off, mid-sentence, to intercept him from a potentially dangerous situation.
– that while I know my son is extremely bright there are times where it takes forever to unlock the simplest idea.
– that he is my world.
– that I’m not alone.