This Is The Feeling Of Being Powerless.

I’m feeling very strained.

The shutdown has really stressed our family out. Husband still has not been to work. And we cannot do a damn thing about it.

I know some think that this is just a “paid vacation”. It’s not. At this point, no one is guaranteed pay. Contractors are unlike Fed employees and in case you were wondering, the retroactive pay bill does not extend to them. Whether or not they get paid is up to their company. In our case, they are allowing employees to burn PTO. Husband has been pretty frugal so he has a bit. But that won’t last much longer.

It’s been very draining on an emotional scale. Husband, bless his heart, has really tried to keep his spirits up. But we’ve both been snippy with each other. We are frustrated at the gridlock forty miles down the road.

There is only so much laundry, vacuuming, exercising and Candy Crush games one can do. It’s not because there is “nothing to do”. Believe me our house could use PLENTY of work. But – it costs money. And money is what we need to hold onto as tight as possible.

Besides, I don’t think Husband would really want to spend his PTO doing the dishes.

We were never extravagant spenders to begin with but this is a bad month to juggle bills. On top of the monthly bills our personal property taxes (cars) and car insurance were due. I’m still working but obviously that is not enough, especially in a high cost of living area.

We’ve both been pretty determined to let the kids keep their routines. However, next week Mayita will stay in daycare for two days. We will keep B in his routine as long as possible. We are lucky to have a daycare that is willing to help us out – there are many of us in the same boat.

We sat down and tried to figure out one other household project he could manage somewhat cheaply. The kids’ bathroom (Jack-n-Jill) is small enough to paint without busting the budget. We have the supplies; we would just need paint. So he’s been working on taping and hopefully painting.

The kid's bathroom.

The kid’s bathroom, first stages.

B is extremely confused. Husband’s “routine” is broken. While he loves his daddy accompanying him to the bus stop, he’s wondering why he’s not going to work. Or why mommy is picking the kids up from daycare, since she stops by on the way home from work (because why bother wasting gas if I’m already out?).

So, there you have it. Want to know how I’m feeling these days? A mixture of anger, frustration and depression. I’m finding it hard to watch the news, or be on social media due to the extreme nature of political opinions.

All I want is this shutdown mess over so we can get back to our normal lives. Criminy is that too much to ask, people who I have voted for?



About OneLoCoMommy

I live in Northern Virginia and and I look like the stereotypical suburban mom, for better or for worse. My son plays baseball and takes karate (albeit adaptive). My daughter is a gymnastics diva but rolls with the boys in T-ball. I've been a Room Mom and Playdate Coordinator. I work full-time, try to work out, and love my Book Club. However, I also blog on my experiences on our ASD, SPD and ADHD journey while trying to be a better parent advocate. All in a life's work.
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4 Responses to This Is The Feeling Of Being Powerless.

  1. I’m a government employee too and i totally empathize with you guys!!! I hope you can make it through this time!!!


  2. Denise says:

    This totally sucks. I am so sorry you are going through this. Hugs and smooches to you guys.


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