The Switch.


Well, that’s how I would characterize the last week in our home – just like a light switch.

It hasn’t been easy. Bad roads closed schools Monday, then the frigid cold shut them down Tuesday. Wednesday and Thursday were full days, thankfully, but Friday’s freezing rain brought about another delay.

Off. On. Off. On.

And much like a switch, B’s behavior has been all over the map. And it’s been maddening to me. Being out of routine doesn’t help, nor does the inevitable letdown from the holidays. Additionally, B’s Kindergarten has decided to forgo an AM snack entirely – not even a milk break – which may be rough.

January is not a good month, in general, for us.

There are times that he has been “himself” – the lovable, inquisitive boy. Now, for reasons I can’t figure out, the meltdowns started again.  Just like a light switch – though I’m not sure which one is “on” and which is “off”.

They are more frequent and more intense. The screams pierce my ears and break my heart. He’s regressed back to hitting his head against a door. It makes me feel like all the work I’ve put forth has been put into a shredder. That I’ve failed as his mom.

Off. On. Off. On.

When I say “no” to something, it happens. When I remind him how to sit properly in a chair it happens. When I remind him of the rules, it happens. When I tell him not to talk back to Mommy and Daddy, it happens. When I tell him he needs a break it happens.

Off. On. Off. On.

His teachers at daycare have noted it too. Of course, he’s been there more this week because he hasn’t had Kindergarten for the past few days.

Off. On. Off. On.

This is the part of autism that I want to wave a magic wand and make go away. Or better, yet, turn it off like a light.

But I can’t, and I hate it.


About OneLoCoMommy

I live in Northern Virginia and and I look like the stereotypical suburban mom, for better or for worse. My son plays baseball and takes karate (albeit adaptive). My daughter is a gymnastics diva but rolls with the boys in T-ball. I've been a Room Mom and Playdate Coordinator. I work full-time, try to work out, and love my Book Club. However, I also blog on my experiences on our ASD, SPD and ADHD journey while trying to be a better parent advocate. All in a life's work.
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4 Responses to The Switch.

  1. Lisa says:

    You’re not alone. We are going through some similar valleys here. The regressions are so difficult for me…and I am sure for him, too. Hang on tight. I hope that more predictable times and smoother sailing are ahead.
    P.S. If you are really concerned about the snack/break, work with his IEP team to get him a break (snack or not). My oldest often goes to the social worker’s room for a mid-morning regroup. It can be specifically written as an accommodation.


  2. So often I read your posts and I want to say something profound or helpful but all I can think is “I get it. We are there or have been there.”

    One of my main struggles is when to discipline or correct my son and when to just let him be how he wants to be and get what he wants. I don’t want to let him get away with everything but I’m on egg shells hoping that he doesn’t scream and meltdown when I open my mouth.

    I’m sorry it’s not easier on all of you.


    • OneLoCoMommy says:

      Sometimes just saying “I get it” is enough. 🙂

      It is hard to toe the line between giving him space and making sure he understands the consequences of his actions. I have to think carefully and pick my battles (and be prepared for the potential consequences myself).


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