C Is For Cancer, Not Cookie.

It’s cancer.

Those words still echo in my mind after the past few days of trying to absorb that sentence.

The biopsy came back malignant. Pancreatic cancer.

My parents met with the surgeon yesterday to find out what happens next. While nothing is for certain, the surgeon is optimistic that it is operable. They are planning on performing the Whipple procedure, in which parts of his pancreas, stomach are removed and then reconstructed. Additionally, his lymph nodes will be removed (as a precautionary measure).

The procedure itself is long – minimum six hours. Then he’s supposed to stay in the hospital for 10-14 days. On top of that, he will need a feeding tube. Knowing my father and his distaste for hospitals and anything medically inclined, I really hope they really be able to keep him there. For his procedure a few months back, I was told there were multiple instances when he attempted to bolt from his bed.

Tentatively, they set the date for mid-June. However, my father balked at the date (the 13th) because of superstition. It’s not even Friday the 13th, for goodness sake.

I don’t know if he realizes the severity of the situation. At the biopsy, he asked whether or not he can drive because he hates the way my mother drives. Yesterday, I was told that his main concern is eating surf and turf at Christmas.

My two sisters were at the farm over the weekend and both commented on his frailty.  He is unsteady doing many typical things, including walking. There is also a lot of sniping from both parents on the most trivial issues – because of the stress of everything going on. 

So, if you have a little prayer or some good vibes to toss my way, please do so. I’m beyond scared for what will happen next, even though I’m trying to keep a positive outlook. For those that gave me PanCan, thank you so much, I will definitely look into this.

But, still, fxck cancer. 

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Belated Happy Mother’s Day!

Nothing like a gift from your children to make your Mother’s Day worth it.

It was a low key day, given the news I heard about my dad recently. I did sleep in a little later (bless you Husband). The night before, we went out for dinner to one of my favorite restaurants and some sweetFrog, which I had never had before but was quite yummy.

But now to show off my kids’ art skills!

It’s amazing how well she can write, don’t you say?

The text on the right side is “I love you”. I hope it does at least. Also, I was told this is for display purposes only.

Jackpot’s Home.

Figuratively speaking, of course.

We received word that his ashes have come back to our internist. Husband and I both thought that the staff would like a little thank you gift from us for all their support. We decided on a large frame with an insert for a picture and a note.

We chose the best picture of Jackpot – one that embodies his spirit.

Seriously how could you not resist this smile?

Husband wrote up a little thank you note and added it to the frame.

When we got there and told the receptionist that we were there, we were escorted back to an exam room. After a few minutes the whole crew came out to greet us, which I thought was quite touching. For a minute, I forgot WHY I was there. We’ve been here so many times that I was conditioned to start by giving Jackpot’s update to the tech. Yikes.

It was a bittersweet homecoming, as we were given a velvet bag holding a gorgeous sealed box. The staff also did their own gift to us, which brought Husband and I to tears.

You couldn’t ask for a better gift.

As we were leaving, Dr. J told us that *if* we get another dog, that we should bring him/her by to meet the “other family”. He said that because the majority of the time they see some very ill pets (including Jackpot) – it would be nice to see a healthy pooch about.

We thanked them profusely for everything they have done throughout the years. They added so much time to Jackpot’s life that we can never measure in dollars. And, while it is still hard to come to terms of the gaping absence in our family, it’s comforting to know he touched so many lives.

Right now Jack is in one of his favorite rooms, our bedroom, and it’s almost like he never left.

They Found Something.

My parents were supposed to come down this past weekend. They were going to visit my aunt (dad’s sister) and us (to belatedly celebrate Mayita’s birthday).

On Thursday night I talked to my dad. If you remember, he had a procedure done regarding his abdominal aortic aneurysm. He went for a follow-up CT Scan that day and was told he needed an endoscopy for his bile duct. They scheduled it for Friday (the next day), indicating there was some urgency in the matter.

True to my dad, he apparently had been having some issues (including jaundice) the past couple of weeks but never mentioned a word of it.

On Friday morning my mother calls from the hospital to tell me they have taken him back for the endoscopy. Then she lays the next bomb – that they are also taking a biopsy of his pancreas.

They found something.

There is a growth on his pancreas. They don’t know (and still don’t know) if it’s malignant or benign. Apparently it’s not a small one either. While nothing is for certain yet, I think it may be quite serious.

Tomorrow my parents will meet with a specialist at the hospital to find out the results of the biopsy.

As for the endoscopy itself, well, they put a stent in his bile duct and that has resolved the issue. He was able to go home that day and is trying to rest. When I say “trying”, I mean he mowed the lawn yesterday because my younger sister apparently didn’t do it right.